How to be a partner to someone with anxiety

Anxiety is something that can be unbelievably hard to deal with, yet millions of Americans suffer from this disorder each and every day. Those people that have never suffered from anxiety may not be able to fully understand what it is like to have an anxiety disorder. Anxiety is actually a response to fear in the human body, oftentimes coming from something that is irrational. Ironically, one of the things that kept human beings surviving since the beginning of time is anxiety. Normal anxiety is something that the brain uses to alert a threat of some kind, which in turn causes people to react in a fearful way. For example, a caveman may have experienced anxiety when entering areas where that are roaming predators. This would have been an appropriate response, based on the fact that the anxiety the caveman was experiencing was based on a real threat.
Anxiety in today’s world is something that is incredibly complex. Anxiety disorders have increased dramatically over the last decade, with a huge amount of prescription drugs being handed out to those suffering. Anxiety is a peculiar thing to approach, as the person that is experiencing the anxiety typically feels like they are locked in chains. There are certain things that may make a person feel anxiety in their day-to-day routines. A person may feel social anxiety when forced into situations that make them uncomfortable. Certain things that a person without anxiety may consider bland and mundane may be incredibly hard for someone suffering from anxiety. Making small talk with a stranger, standing in an elevator, and meeting new people are all things that may give a person anxiety. An individual may be fearful of certain things, such as getting into an auto crash, or they may be under the impression that something bad is about to happen to them at any moment. The list goes on and on. Anxiety is extremely specific to the individual.
It can be extremely difficult to try to help a partner that is dealing with anxiety. One of the biggest things that should be considered, if you do have a partner that deals with anxiety, is simply being open and understanding to the things that cause them anxiety. The reality is, anxiety is something that has to be overcome by the person experiencing the anxiety. No single person can eliminate another person’s anxiety, which is why it is so important to be understanding. Letting your partner know that it is okay that something causes them anxiety may in fact lessen the extent of their anxiousness. Another major thing you may want to consider when in this situation, is simply helping provide a means out of certain situations.
Anyone that has dealt with anxiety, who has been forced to endure a situation that makes them anxious, especially if it is caused by another person’s misunderstanding of their condition, knows how excruciating it can be. Panic attacks can be so severe that a person literally feels like they are about to die. Because of this, it is incredibly beneficial to sit down and really think about what the actual triggers of your partner are. You and your significant other can identify situations where there may be increased anxiety and create a strategy to deal with the anxiety if it does come up. The great thing about setting up a plan like this is the fact that this act actually decreases anxiety. The person suffering from anxiety will know that they have a game plan if a situation turns into a lot of anxiety, which may be just what they need to not experience anxiety in the first place. On the other hand, if they do start to get very anxious, you will have already worked out a plan to deal with the situation.
Communication and planning are massive, but making these types of situations better really starts with understanding. Anxiety typically arises when a person feels backed into a corner. This is why it is such a good idea to know ahead of time what the protocol is going to be during any given situation, such as a panic attack. The perception of fear is going to be automatically reduced in most cases by doing this, as there is an escape route. It may take some practice, but one of the best things that a person with anxiety can do is slowly do the things that are causing them anxiety.
Based on the fact that anxiety is a fearful response to something, where a person feels like they are in danger, experiencing the activity and realizing that a person is okay is huge. Anxiety is absolutely something that can be overcome, but it is something that should be taken very slowly. You can think of this as dipping your feet in a pool and slowly getting in, rather than making the jump. However, if you do decide to try to eliminate the anxiety altogether, having a clear channel of communication and being understanding is key. Working with a doctor that is experienced in exposure therapy is another great way to make things easier along the way to a life without anxiety.

How to be a partner to someone with depression

When a loved one or friend is depressed, it can be stressful not knowing what to do to help them; however, there are things you and I can do that will help such as taking a walk with them, taking them to a doctor appointment, or just listening to what is on their mind.

In addition, do what you can to help them get a good diagnosis and treatment. Often when a person is depressed, he or she may not know that they are depressed; all they know is that they don’t have any energy or drive to do what they would normally do. One way to approach someone who is depressed is to say, “I care so much about you but it bothers me to see you suffer. Don’t be ashamed of depression. Let’s you and I find out what we can do to make you feel better.”

Also, show that you are willing to discuss depression. In other words, encourage him or her to talk about how they are feeling, without being critical or judgmental. Then, offer to go with that person to a doctor’s visit. Most importantly, if there are children involved, talk with them and give them some information on what is going on. The information doesn’t have to be a lot; just enough so they don’t worry. Perhaps you could take the children to school or other events if the depressed person is not up to it.

More than anything, be patient with the treatment process. With depression, there often are errors that are made on the way to recovery; so give it time. Depression can recede; it just takes time, treatment, and understanding. While treatment for depression continues, there are other things you can do that will help such as being a compassionate listener, providing assistance that the person needs, taking care of you so that you can stay positive, encouraging a healthy diet by cooking and eating together and learn what you can about depression from reading related articles.

Symptoms of depression are different for each person; however, there are several common symptoms that are important to know such as if a person has lost interest in work, hobbies, sex, and other pleasurable activities. Other symptoms are withdrawing from family and friends, having a negative outlook on life, complaints of aches and pain, oversleeps or sleeping less than usual, eating more or less than usual, and abusing drugs.

Keep in mind; many who suffer from depression often resist getting help. If this happens, there are several things you can do such as suggesting that they get a check-up with a doctor. Some who are depressed are more agreeable to seeing a doctor than a mental health professional. In most cases, this is a good option because a doctor can evaluate if there is anything medical causing the depression. If the doctor finds that your loved one is suffering from depression, he or she can refer you to a psychologist or psychiatrist. In addition, to make the visit to the mental health specialist easier, you could offer to go with him. Before taking your loved one to a mental health provider, encourage him to make a list of symptoms that he or she can discuss with the doctor.

Other ways to help are providing whatever is needed such as researching treatment options, having realistic expectations, and leading by example. It is important to encourage your loved ones to lead healthier lives. You can set the standard by maintaining a positive outlook, eating better, exercising, and seeking help from others. It’s hard for some to believe that anyone could commit suicide but those who are depressed may not see any other way out. Depression distorts thinking and makes a person feel that the only way to get rid of the pain is to die. Know the warning signs of depression:

• Talking about suicide
• Acting in self-destructive ways
• Showing signs of hopelessness
• Getting affairs in order
• Giving away precious items
• Seeking out items to hurt themselves
• A sudden sense of calm after being depressed.

Most importantly, if you think that a friend or family member may be thinking about suicide, talk to them about your concerns as soon as possible. For someone thinking about suicide, the best thing you can do is get it out in the open. Often, they just want someone to listen to them and love them. This kind of sharing can save a life; so keep listening!

To conclude, when a loved one or friend is depressed, it can be stressful not knowing what to do to help them; however, there are things you and I can do that will help such as actively working to help them get better such as taking a walk with them, offering to help them with doctor appointments or just listening to what is on their mind. For many who are depressed, having someone listen to them is the best medicine. Talk with your doctor soon and find out more about depression and what you can do to help.

How to find the perfect partner in life

Finding the courage to ask out a guy or girl that you like has proven to be one of the most challenging tasks one will ever experience in their life for some people. There are millions of Americans that suffer from anxiety and fear of rejection and there is no cure. Have you ever been told by a friend or college to just man up and go ask that girl out? Have you ever heard your friends say “no balls” when hesitating to approach a stranger? Do not worry you are not alone.

It is important to keep in mind that not all anxiety is bad. Human beings living many hundreds of years ago survived off of anxiety. Their anxiety was an alert system for potential dangers. That kind of anxiety generates a kind of fear that helps the body stay out of danger. For example, soldiers could avoid passing through territories that they felt were not safe. Also male hunters years ago felt anxiety when a large predator was nearby.

In this day and age cases of recorded anxiety have skyrocketed. There are so many different types of anxiety Americans are dealing with. Most of the time they are just handed pills to help them function normally. As you might expect, that does not cure anxiety, nor does it help people in the long run. A common form of anxiety your typical American citizen may experience is the nervous feeling of taking on a task that is not normally embedded in their daily routine. Being forced into new situations with little experience can be quite overwhelming as many would agree. Meeting new people, riding in a full elevator, and having small talk alone in a quiet room can make people anxious. There are also environmental triggers that can give people anxiety. For example, someone that got in a bad car crash may feel anxious or scared every time they get behind the wheel. They may be extra alert or drive much slower than usual.

It may be challenging to work with a partner suffering from anxiety: especially if you have no idea where they are coming from. The best way to help that partner is to be open to what they may be feeling and understand the reasoning behind their actions. If the partner is feeling very anxious at a social event that you are enjoying, it is best to be the better person and leave. Nobody can cure someone’s anxiety but that person. Forcing someone to overcome their anxiety by putting them up against their fears could damage them even further.

For some people, panic attacks can feel like death. When someone is panicking they might experience a heart rate increase, higher than normal body temperatures, and shortness of breath. To help prevent this kind of discomfort for your partner is a good idea to sit down with them and talk about what triggers this kind of attack. Learn to avoid those situations at all costs. When the partner dealing with anxiety sees a plan of action for dealing with the triggers it can help get rid of the anxiety. Now the partner is more prepared for how to handle a situation that becomes uncomfortable. When an anxiety attack does happen the one couple will have a better understanding of how to assist the other partner dealing with anxiety.

Communication and understanding are the two most important tips for finding that perfect partner. When a partner is feeling extreme anxiety they might feel like they are trapped in a box or stuck in the corner of a room with no one to turn to. It is so important to know how to handle a situation where the person feels trapped. Each person copes with panic attacks differently. That is why it is important to get to know what the perfect partner fears.

When looking for the perfect partner in life it is first important to love yourself. It is important to be 100% satisfied with who you are and be willing to accept your flaws. Everyone in this world is unique. Appreciate who you are and what you bring to the table. When looking for the perfect partner it should be someone that completes you. Someone that always brings out the best in you. If you are constantly unhappy with yourself you will lean more towards marrying someone just for their resources or someone that will make you feel better about yourself.

Also, be fairly happy when living alone. Living alone when all of your friends are getting married or dating can bring on a lot of stress and anxiety. It can force someone to force love in a temporary relationship. Find ways to stay happy and confident while operating alone.

There are some people that get lucky and cross paths with their one and only true love at a young age. If you are one of those people that finds their significant other in high school then you are a lucky breed. Then there are others that do not marry the first handful of boyfriends or girlfriends. Going out and dating multiple potential wives or husbands will give you a better sense of who you are most compatible with.

How to Love Someone With PTSD When You Do Not Have It Yourself

Loving someone with PTSD can be rather challenging. Take it from someone who knows. I have dealt with PTSD myself off and on. It is hard enough for us, imagine what it may feel like for someone who does not have it.

You may feel like you are walking on eggshells around the person. One minute the person is loving and the next they are destructive. You may have to do more around the house. Certain jokes may not be okay to say around them. Someone with PTSD is haunted by what they went through 100% of the time. This is true for some of us who have dealt with our issues. We still feel like we are living in the past, being haunted by the past.

Here are some tips for those of you in this situation, based on personal experience.

1) You do not have to talk about everything. In fact, some of us prefer it. We prefer that someone is just there to listen and accepting of the situation. Not everyone wants to talk about it. Sometimes talking about a situation may make it worse. Keep this in mind. We are not like you. You may feel okay with talking, but we may not. It is simple for us. Be there for us and everything is fine. Hang around and comfort, even in times of distress. This is how someone with PTSD can see the person cares. Pressuring us may only make the matter worse.

2) The next thing you do need to do is be compassionate. Listen and hear what they have to say. Do not be condescending to us. We will not react well to it. Do not make threats to us. Do not tell us “it can be worse”. We will not react well to this statement. Do not get pandering to us. Your loved ones trust you. Invalidating any kind of feeling will result in them becoming more closed off. This is not what you want to happen.

3) The better thing to do is create a routine. Make the person feel safe at home. Eliminate stress as much as possible. I realize that eliminating stress 100% is not going to happen. However, you do have to create a safe place. Those with PTSD like to feel safe. It is important to us, especially since there was a time when we did not feel safe. When your loved one tells you they feel stressed, listen to them. Hear what they have to say. Take the necessary precautions to get rid of this feeling. It will make for happier home life and relationship.

4) There are going to be triggered. You will need to get acquainted with as many of them as you can. Triggers are what sets off the event once more. These triggers can come in the form of a person, place, or thing. Take note of what triggers your loved one. Triggers will cause a flashback. This puts your loved one back there once more. Please be mindful of this tip. This is not a joke by any means.

Triggers can be internal or external. Understand what triggers are more violent than the rest. Talk to your loved one about these triggers. The more you know about what causes the flashback, the more you can work to reduce it.

5) There are going to be moments when your loved ones will face outbursts and violent fits of rage. Some people get more extreme than others. It is important to remain calm. Do not touch them or grab them. This is going to cause them to feel threatened. This may cause a flashback. You do not want this to happen. It can put you in danger, as well as your loved one.

Your safety is just as important as theirs. Please take the necessary precautions in case something bad happens. This happens in extreme cases, so be on the lookout. Give him/her space if they feel overcrowded. People with PTSD are going to feel more overcrowded than others. Leave them be. Hang around them when they want company. Leave them be if they prefer to be alone. It is that simple.

6) You need to set your own boundaries. This will take its toll on you. I speak from personal experience. It is important that you make time for yourself. Merging your life into your loved one’s full-time is not going to be healthy. You need time away to deal with this. This is not going to be sunshine and roses. There are going to be plenty of dark moments.

You need to create your own boundaries. Speak up when something is too much for you to handle. Do not feel you have to take this all on yourself. This can be carried over to you. Do not assume you will not catch this. The more involved you are with PTSD, the more likely you are to develop your own symptoms.

Handle yourself accordingly. Take care of yourself. Remember you are not alone.